moments! (:

2010-04-30T01:09:00.000-07:00

And really,
Only the best die young.

And I really hope you do know this,
We may never have talked much
or even known much about each other,
your smile brighten my days in school nonetheless, always.

Rest in peace, Melissa.
You'll be missed, now and always.

2010-01-31T10:08:00.000-08:00

Because I'm me.

No matter how far I am away,
They'll always have something to say,
Never hearing what I would have to tell.

No matter how much I change,
They'll always look at me the way they want to,
Never the way just how I am.

But because I'm me, I'm really not that noble.
And I choose the way I'm living now without conforming.

Carefree, fun and fulfilling.
I can safely say for the past 2 months,
I've finally started to come terms to myself.

For who I am and the things I do.

2010-01-10T14:38:00.000-08:00

Fred Perry ION design analysis came to a halt 1
hour ago because I chanced upon some old photos.

I can't say we went through life and death,
but we could have went through thick and thin.
Or so I thought.

As time went pass I told myself to let go,
And as time went by, I thought I have left it all behind.

Either way, it means nothing now.
If leaving was the better choice, regardless of what I
say every now and then, I feel glad for you.

And I really really fucking do hope it was the better choice.

All the times we shared laughter, anxiety and anger.
All the times we tried to hide our sorrows.
Everything we all shared, I believe we all, each and
everyone of us, would keep safe deep in us.

Whatever happened shouldn't matter a bit by now too,
We're all grown up now. No longer a punch on the face
nor a treat to a meal can change anything, any longer.

I just wanted to say,
At this very time of today,
6:48AM January 11th 10,

I miss you,
you fuckin' piece of worthless shit.

2009-11-28T12:10:00.000-08:00

Friends & Family are always my priority.
Never work, never money and never Love.

Even these five days whereby Dad and Mom
wouldn't be around, I'll stay in a piece and show
them their 18 year old rebellious at time kid shit
is old enough to at least survive 6 days 5 nights.
Not by himself though, he's got friends as well :D

Along the way I've always bear in mind.
Friendship and Kinship is the best shit.

After all, every now and then they're always the ones
that save my ass, clean up my mess and bear with me.
At the end of the day, they never fail to be the ones that
makes me feel like crap each time I screw up.

Not as petty as they'll be upset with me, but the fact that
they'll always give me a second chance each time I admit
that I'm at fault and apologize. Even when they know very
well that I at times mean no sincerity but a false show to get
away with.

To be honest, I've always been low in confidence.
Never taking my interest in priority and not even capable
taking of taking good care over my own health.
Spending all my money whenever I'm better off is one
major huge pain in the ass problem too.

And yes, I was never too afraid to admit that I am scared
of being alone. In fact, I hate to be alone and I tend to get
swallowed whole by insecurities when I am by myself.

But I got here today just fine.
Bumped around along the way, got through times I
never thought I'll get through. Got bruised all over
and it all healed, only scars that serve as teaching
experience.

I got so far only because I'm constantly being protected.
I ought to be ashamed to have lived for 18 years yet is still
acting like a kid all the time, kicking up fuss over nothing
and hurting the ones that keep me from being hurt.

Especially my folks. Old and naggy they may be, they're
probably the best I can ever get though I am definitely
not the best son they deserve.
I hope they feel my gratitude but I doubt they would since
the only time they see me is when I reach home after mid night
almost daily. HAHA. I'll learn to go home early as soon as I
learn time management. :D

Its probably random and out of point.
But I just want to say this.

For them, I'll give up the world.
And by the things they've done for me all the while,
I can only repay by living as true to myself as possible.
If that sentence even make any sense anyway.

I wouldn't always do the right thing, But I'll never go
against my conscience for the sake of superficial stuff
called money or interest of my own.

True enough, there still would be times to come that I
will let my temper get the better of me and screw up.
But slowly, I'll learn to be more mature.

I'll learn to be a good friend, a good son and a good student.
And to anyone who think this post goes to them;
Yes it is.
And I'll always be by your side like how you were for me

It's been a long ranttttt and I'm drained.
Time to hit the sackkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!

2009-11-14T12:15:00.000-08:00

Innocence; Price to pay for Misery.

--

Okay random.
But that smile reminded me of how
much I've lost all these while.

--

Backkkkk toooo modellllllllll.
FML. timecheck; 4:29am.

2009-11-07T12:17:00.000-08:00

'Cause Heaven can wait.

--

Mixed emotions.
Just feel like drinking a bit,
Chill a bit and then sleep for a week.

I need to wake up my idea.

Ah well, at least theres one thing for sure;
I fucking hate school to the fucking max.

Fuck that.

2009-11-06T22:58:00.000-08:00

They call us problem child
We spend our lives on trial
We walk an endless mile
We are the youth gone wild

--

Fuck them all.

Shall go have some fun,
And forget everything about Earth tonight.

2009-11-01T10:30:00.000-08:00

Y'know what;
I'm actually much happier these days.

Just being contented with what I truly have,
and who I truly am.

Just a dick, actually. :D

--

November Rain.

2009-10-30T00:14:00.001-07:00

Such a heart that will lead you deceiving.

-
-

Dreamt that I died several days back.
They say, Its a sign that your past self is dead.
Life's headed for changes and all.

Ah, doesn't sound all that bad aye.

Anyway.
Been on my mind for quite awhile now,
I guess I've really changed quite a bit by now.

Your crime is time.
Its 18 and life to go.

2009-10-22T20:56:00.000-07:00

I don't wanna' fight no more,
I don't know what we're fighting for.

When we treat each other Baby, like an act of war.

2009-10-20T11:20:00.001-07:00

Can't change from wrong to right.

Only you can stop the rain tonight;
Only you can make my world so bright.

--

Turn back time.
Please.

2009-10-19T09:51:00.000-07:00

Instead of holding you I was holding out;
I should have let you in but I let you down.

You were first to give, I was the first to ask;
Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance.

There's a thousand million things I can't put across in words.
Sometimes I think I'm better off mute.

We met we laughed we held on fast, and then we say goodbye.

But you know, life's a bitch.
Fuck her hard.
--

Just the first day of school.

Drank. Tar-ed. Puked. Headache.
I feel like an idiot now, but its ohhhokay.

" Fools with sad highs "

Agreed.

But I'll never regret doing shits,
Because life is too short not to have fun.
And because I'm me, I'm fucked up just like that.
We're all fucking together yoooooooo.

Blood over tears never sounded better.
I like it. : ) I like being tipsy. :D

Anddddd lastly, A very Happy Birthday to
Charmaine Chia Si min Lao Ma.

2009-10-18T11:54:00.000-07:00

I'll leave all of these behind;
Memories are not everything.

Just like a gamble,
I choose to fold.

--

I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes.

2009-10-16T13:40:00.000-07:00

' Reminisce some old memories

People grow & People go.
Heart grows cold & We'll let go.

No matter.
People who stuck around' would always be.
We're only one but one for all.
--

" Just like a lost soul caught up in the Hollywood
scene, All the parties and limousines.

Such a good actress hiding all her pain,
Trading in memories for fortune and fame. "

Fallen angel.

2009-10-14T02:32:00.000-07:00

Still a part of everything I do;
You're on my heart just like a tattoo.

--

Life's headed for changes.
Tonight's the last one with normality.
And down a few more days,
Its gonna' be even tougher.

" I don't know how I'm gonna' do it,
I don't even know how or where to start
But I'll do it. "

" It's really going to be difficult, but its the
right thing to do, so I'm going to do it "

That came from someone who's been there done
that and succeeded;

Now its my turn,
Gotta' cast everything aside after tonight.

--

But every now and then I still wonder;
Why did things turn out this way.

Was it something I said, or something I never did.
Or was I always in the way.

I one El Ke Hall.
zxzxzxzxzxzxzxz.

2009-10-13T23:54:00.000-07:00

Want you to know that I miss you,
I miss you so.

But I'm not sleeping and you're not here;
The thought stops my heart.

--

I can't kill this pain;
So I'll party with it.

Pain is after all Ecstasy.

2009-10-13T11:38:00.000-07:00

Leave no stones unturned;
Leave your fears behind.

Let nothing stand in your way.

--

Whatever it takes I'll turn all these around.

2009-10-02T22:41:00.000-07:00

The words that seem so hard to say,
Come out when you've gone away.

Just stay a lil' while and hear me say,

And I want you here tonight,
And I need you by my side.

For just one more moment,
For just one more moment with you.

2009-10-01T15:26:00.000-07:00

Your heart to hold on to;
All I ever needed was you.

--

My fist and my heart.
Both swollen and aching.

& I screwed up, once again.

2009-10-01T04:52:00.000-07:00

Youth Gone Wild.

2009-09-30T01:14:00.000-07:00

Do you have a heart of stone;
Do you have a heart at all.

2009-09-28T05:28:00.000-07:00

That is why I say ' Live fast and Die young.

2009-09-24T23:57:00.001-07:00

Random. Very random.

It suddenly occurred to me that it is but
one life time we're gonna be living.

Just love, drink, laugh, cry and finally just
rooooooooll over and die.

' Ve loved, deeply.
' Ve drank, a lot.
' Ve laughed, many times before.
' Ve cried, swore I would never again each time I did.

--

When I see your face,
My Heart burst into Fire.

2009-09-24T07:57:00.000-07:00

No more inner peace.
Fuck inner peace.

Just drink my piss.

_|_ _|_

--

Need to drink now.
Right now right now right now.

Alcoholllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.

2009-09-24T01:09:00.001-07:00

A step back from all the mess.
The sweet breakaway from the superficial.

And apparently,
I'm start to like this inner peace.

Not exactly peace,
Maybe just pretty laid back, But still.

:D

--

' I'll never ask for anyone but you.

2009-09-15T10:58:00.000-07:00

.
.
.

I'll learn to shut up.
Shut my heart up.

--

You're the strength I need to fight,
You're reason I still try.

2009-09-13T10:53:00.000-07:00

The black and white past.
The gray present.

I'll be fine.
One way or another, I have to be.

2009-08-22T11:09:00.000-07:00

Logic vs Heart.
Conscience vs Everything you stand for.

The walls start breathing,
My mind is unweaving.

--

I'll bear it all.

2009-08-16T10:55:00.000-07:00

Even if you say so.
Even if you say so.
Even if you say so.

I swore I wouldn't change.
And I swear it again I haven't.

--

" I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you "

2009-08-06T10:45:00.000-07:00

Making assumptions and holding false grudges.

All these silent screams,
One day they will really stop my heart.

There's nothing left in this body to give.

--
--

It all ends up at the end of the day
with an empty shell and a hollow heart.

Perhaps some remembrance.

2009-08-02T09:43:00.000-07:00

Fear & Silent Screams.

For the first time in my life,
The world seems so scary.

I cant seem to see or do anything.

All that is in my head is telling me
what I should and shouldn't do.

But not what is right or wrong to do.

It seem all these while all that kept me
going are all but nothing.

And suddenly it all feels so empty.

--
--

Nothing seems to mean anything.
Its like I've lost everything.

But I guess its okay.
I'll get used to this.

2009-08-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

When the world is against you,
And you don't have much choice but to go.

2009-08-02T07:13:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I can't be perfect.
And I'm sorry I'm all so childish.

--

2009-07-23T12:29:00.000-07:00

Cos' when I see you cry;
It makes me wanna' die.

I screwed up, big time.
Good one.

I've just transformed myself into
the type of person I despise most.

Fuck you and your cb brain, tbh.

2009-07-21T09:42:00.000-07:00

We didn't need fortune didn't need fame
Just a little shelter from the rain

Your hand to hold onto,
when times got tough you pulled me through

We didn't need a castle made of stone
Just you there as I grow old

Your heart to hold onto
All I ever needed was you

Was you.

2009-07-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

Every rose has its thorn.

Oh and its yet another sunrise;
Yet another night seemed endless passed.

- - -

2009-07-18T11:23:00.001-07:00

The season of troubles.

- - -

Silent screams stopped my heart;

2009-07-17T20:15:00.000-07:00

' You're the strength I need to fight.
You're the reason I still try.

All I ever wanted to do is to look at you being happy;
But now all I want to do is to drink myself silly.

--

Misery to keep sanity.

2009-07-11T13:52:00.000-07:00

5 am;

Sober;

But before my eyes are nothing
but disappointment.

--
--

For a person of great importance in my life:

Be strong girl, be really strong.
I know you can pull through one, I've faith in you.

Looking at you like this,
It really is able to make me feel all useless.
But as much as I want to help, I don't know how.

I've it said more than once and I'll say it again;
I'll always be there like how you were for me.

No more silly acts from you alright?

Like how you told me
" you're worth much more than that "

And trust me,
You're worth so much so much more.

Before you know it, all these will be over.
It'll all get better, trust me alright?

Much love.

--

I guess it's all gonna' be over soon.

How can I miss you if you never stayed.
I'm trying to let go & its harder than you know.

Guess you never did know; I love you.
Tsk.

To be saying all these,
must be a real dumb ass now.

--

Si mi lan jiao!
I'll make tomorrow a better one.
And I'll make all my friends smile w me.

I swear.

2009-07-10T03:16:00.000-07:00

When passion's a prison;
You can't break free.

In approximately 60, the crew will be here.
And aye, off we get rollin' to partaaaayeee!

Much work and tonnes of fun.
Much hurt and many love.

I'm thankful.

--

All in all, life's still life.
All ain't too good, nothing ain't too bad.

Naw, ain't gonna be whiny now.
I'm in the mooooood for fun already!

Rolling outttttt outtttt outtttttt!

--

' This love has made me illogical;
And I'll stay up til' you're next to me.

I never said those words;
And wishing they would be heard.

2009-07-09T12:13:00.000-07:00

Answers we'll never find;
We don't need a thing tonight.

Its like insomia.

2009-06-29T11:20:00.000-07:00

Tequila in his heartbeat;
His veins burned with gasoline.

--

One step forward;
Two steps back.
Nobody gets far like that.

One step forward;
Two step back.
This kind of dance can never last.

A heart of stone'

2009-06-28T12:28:00.001-07:00

3.28 am?!

Fuck my life!
Its like everyone's saying this luh!
Cool beanxzxz I shall join in :D

Why do I always fall asleep at the wrong timing!
Yet when I'm suppose to sleep I can't.

School's starting in like a couple of hours,
And damn I still can't accept that fact.

This is the kind of time you just want to on
some slow music, sip some Malibu on the rocks
and just chill time away >.<

--

Baby come back,
Any kind of fool could see,

There was something in everything bout' you.

2009-06-27T07:33:00.001-07:00

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face.

A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same.

But all the miles that separate
Disappeared now when I'm dreaming of your face.

I'm here without you.

--

Ohwellllllll, Its an ungodly hour.
And guess what?

I'm heading out again. -.-"
Urgh.

Be a transformer!
Steel hard and strong!

Draaaaaaaag me to Hell.
No, Draaaaag me to my bed is pretty good already.

Kay fuck,
Rooooooooooollllllllllll out >.<

2009-06-25T12:06:00.000-07:00

And the Malibu on the rocks was awesome.
Coconut rum you know!
Kay I didn't know.

Suuaaaa Guuuu lah -.-

All I know now is that I want some more :D

--

K was hilarious.
Hokkien songs, Jap Mv, Screamo.

Highlight of that day: Bullet for my valentine.

The song along w our screaming owned.
We got owned by ourselves too.
Its no cool >.<

Life has been awwwright.
Not very the aweeeesome.

Hm, Will do. : )

But hey,
've got awesome mateys,
've got awesome night out almost daily,
've got liquor almost every other day,

Havn't got everything I want,
But isn't it all I need?

Count the liquor out luh, of course.

--

Kay' I shall stop drinking!
Really.

I'll try, at least. :D

Cos' this emo hokkien song that is on
repeat is making me feel damn gek xim.

I swear it must be played on my funeral.
Its tooo nice, sad and emo.

--

I'm sorry I can't be Perfect.

2009-06-23T01:21:00.000-07:00

When the truth is like a stranger;
And it hits you right between the eyes.

Aye.
Boat quay Boat quay Boat quay.
Along w Fat, Ibsen, Darryl and all.

Drank, sang along, talked a lil.
Well, its all good. The night life.

Reached home round' 7 plus am.
Conked out and woke up w
a few messages and missed calls.

' Dude want some dinner?
' Get the guys.

Aye, But of course!
Rooll Roooool Rooooooooool out!

--

Cos' sometimes you can't choose,

Its like heads they win;
Tails you're gonna' lose.

But y'know,
You've gotta stick to your guns.

2009-06-21T13:14:00.000-07:00

Awwwwkay.
Happy Belated 18th to you, PHD bastard.

Seriously, all I can say is you're Epic.
Even in a thousand years a person
as Epic as you is rare to come by.

Don't go thinking you're special now.

Wishing you all the best in your future endeavor.
Make more money from NYNY so I can leech.

--

You could have a change of heart;
If you would only change your mind.

Cos' I'm crazy bout' you Baby, Time after time.

Anyway, it has been Epic.
Really ninja turtle stardust haaadoooken.

Its really the ups and downs in life man.
Its all good, its cool.

2009-06-21T01:12:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day;

It may be stupid for me to say this,
But I really didn't come all this way by myself.

They're the ones that struggle so hard to
raise us up; Even though it is us that they
cannot even recognize at times.

Even so, They try their best to bring us
up properly.

'To think back, I just can't believe I
actually said all that crap to my folks
just because I was feeling lousy.

I'll be a better son, I swear.

--

Yes I'd come for you.
No one but you.

But only if you told me to.

2009-06-19T12:02:00.000-07:00

I think I can understand now,
A little by a little, at the least.

But still,
I think it was too immature.

I was pretty stupid.
Now, I don't know if I can bring you back.

Guess its like how they said it;
You'll eventually realise what your
priorities are when you reach a certain point.

Urghxzxz.

Troublesome shit.
Now I've to think hard again, like again =.=

Give me a Graveyard now, right now.
I'll rather down it, get drunk and sleep my arse off.

Tsk!

Oh,
And I forgot something.

I think I want to be happy.
Again. : )

For y'all, I'll give it a shot.

--
--

Friends and Family aboue all esle;
I swear my life on that.

2009-06-18T11:18:00.001-07:00

Maybe I should go back being an idiot.

Yes, Maybe I'll do just that.

--

Time is going by so much faster than I.
Sometimes even I wonder why;

How did I even manage to survive til'
this point of time.

Its a miracle.
And I think its good enough : )

2009-06-18T00:24:00.000-07:00

A failed attempt to get drunk.
Why why why why why!

Choo's concoction of Graveyard conk
even the Dino boy out, Epic.

Okay not literally,
but Dino was spouting shit all the while and
I swear he's better off that state.

And uh oh, He spilled some dirty lil' secret.
He's gonna feel crabby getting prawned
from now on.

Heart to dick talk over liquor.
Heart to emo talk over milk.

Last night is a night you call
" The Epic before New Year "

Kaaaay, dick-ish.

But to think they actually knew quite a bit.
Dangerous bitches.

Aye, I am sleepy.

Nightey!

2009-06-16T23:13:00.000-07:00

Woke up with a thought;
" I'm loving every moment of being sober "

--

" If you don't share someone's pain,
You will never be able to understand them. "

Right?

Maybe that was the reason.
After all.

--

So if you're ever lost and find yourself all alone,
I'd search forever just to bring you home.

Here and now, This I vow.

.

2009-06-15T23:37:00.000-07:00

Traded memories for Fortune and Fame.

Guess its too bad, everything we have is
taken away.

Too much too soon or is it just a little too late?

2009-06-15T10:52:00.000-07:00

" Behind each loud speaking voice is a sad story
others fail to see "

Or so I heard.

--

Alcohol became an escape.

Guess this is the first time in a long time I'm
feeling sober even in the dead of night.

And now it feels like I'm back to reality.

Ohwell.

2009-06-14T12:40:00.000-07:00

Mindset tends to screw up after alcohol kicks in.

Its all pretty much clear like crystal after some
reminiscence;

Looking back,
It was partially my fault it all turned out like that.

Never should I have gave my word.
And when you really needed the assurance,
I went back against everything I thought I stood for.

To be labeled as a bastard,
Even I think its an understatement.

--

Can't turn back time,
Yet history is right about to repeat.

Give me this one last fighting chance
I'll crash the wall and get to you.

You're a war worth dying for, Tonight.

--

Kay, random shit.
Chivas and all really derange me.
Guess I should hit the sack now.

Goodnight world.

2009-06-13T04:58:00.000-07:00

Nostalgia.

Maybe I'm really like what they say I am.
But its okay, I'll find the answer myself.

2009-06-11T10:22:00.000-07:00

Trust, Love, Faith and Affliction.

My heart ache almost instantaneously.

Because deep down,
I think I know how much
worth I'm of.

--

I'm sorry.
For everything.

2009-06-07T06:58:00.000-07:00

Feeling a lil' silly, maybe even a lil stupid.
Somehow I'm letting this affliction get to me.

And its killin' me.

Been too much of a loser recently.
Fuck it all.

I'll return to old self.

2009-06-07T06:24:00.000-07:00

Keep on the provocation for a minute now.
Just one minute.

I promise I'll rip you into nine pieces and
you'll never see again another day light.

--
--

Fierce eh?
Just kidding : )

2009-06-03T19:12:00.000-07:00

Back to oldies : )

25 minutes - Michael learns to rock.

After some time I've finally made up my mind
she is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I'm searching everywhere to find her again
to tell her I love her and I'm sorry 'bout the
things I've done

I find her standing in front of the church
the only place in town where I didn't search
She looks so happy in her wedding dress
but she's crying while she's saying this

Chorus:

Boy I've missed your kisses all the time
but this is twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy
I'm sorry your are twentyfive minutes too late

Against the wind I'm going home again
wishing me back to the time when we were more than friends

But still I see her in front of the church
the only place in town where I didn't search
She looked so happy in her wedding dress
but she cried while she was saying this

Chorus:

Boy I've missed your kisses all the time
but this is twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry
your are twentyfive minutes too late

Out in the streets
places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
inside my head still I can hear the words she said

Chorus:

Boy I've missed your kisses all the time
but this is twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry
your are twentyfive minutes too late

I can still hear her say..

--

One life, Live it.
Nicely said :D

Through all these days of ups and downs,
I'm thankful for all those that stand by me.

Aye, late for school. >.<

Later!

2009-06-02T14:30:00.000-07:00

5.36 am;

And I don't want the world to see me,
Cos' I don't think that they'll understand.
--

While the world is soundly asleep,
I've gotta stay awake.

While the storm out there is raging,
I shall take it as the cleansing of my tainted soul.

.

Shiznit, I must be getting abstract.
But one thing that is affirmative,

I'm getting sleepy.
Very very very sleepy. -.-

Its all about the heartache avenue.

2009-05-28T20:05:00.000-07:00

So why stranger, why?

You don't have any idea how much I went
through to become like that, so why?

Why keep pushing me to go back to my old ways.

But fine, If you wanna' see it that badly,

I'll show you.

2009-05-09T02:32:00.000-07:00

I need a little more luck than a little bit.
And a little changes, I guess.

No matter, Things are all screwing up.

And its the kind of time you will feel like
just forgetting about everything and go
back to sleep, hoping all will turn out fine.

But I guess it wouldn't help, will it?
Yeah I'll love to sleep my ass away.

But guess that's gotta have to wait.

--

What it takes I don't care;
I'll never lose it, again.

I'll never lose anyone or anything again.
I swear that.

2009-05-03T02:58:00.000-07:00

A song that I suddenly remembered;
And its bringing back those corny memories.

One of those songs that will be on repeat
whenever I turn on the computer.

Here goes:

Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

--

Midnight Remembrance.

2009-05-02T13:51:00.000-07:00

4.51 am;

Feeling the ultimate epic-ness.

Got totally drenched in the midnight rain all.
Feeling hungry even though I ate like steamboat
and pratas -.-

And best, I'm feeling heat emitting outta' my body.
Fever, damn.

I swear I'll kill swine flu if I get swine flu.
Heh, makes no sense uh.

--
--

Just reached home like 1 second ago;

Funny how things went when I objected to the
idea of going home all night and..

Suddenly missed home. Gay.

Anyway, Here's to the Birthday dope.

Andyyyy, Sweet 18th yo! :D
All the best in your future endeavors!

--
--

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.

Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.

2009-04-26T12:30:00.000-07:00

Tell me how does it feel;
With a grand canyon between Me and You.

Can't think straight no more.
I'm failing and its all losing.

Everyday seems all but another day.
Nothing has its lustre anymore.

And all I can think of is to stop,
Right about here and now.

--
--

Everything that is bad for me.

2009-04-16T21:57:00.001-07:00

Wasn't exactly how I wanted to wake up;

I really don't know what the hell are you gonna'
come out with again, seriously.

If you're getting away with this one then I've
really got nothing to say but " awwwwwwesome".

--
--

Blow the candles out,
Looks like a solo tonight.

But I think I'll be alright.

2009-04-12T03:40:00.000-07:00

I keep moving on like I don't care.
Being indifferent to things at times
yet over reacting when unnecessary.

Sometimes I feel I'm losing it,
and I can't hold it in much longer.
Yet I have to hang in there, even
if its just me.

Looking is all I can do.
Its like an irony.
The assurance of the past that has always
comforted me has become of what is
haunting me.

From what we were to what we are.
What happened?
Did we made this all happened, or was it
just circumstances.

But no matter how I try,
There's no way to forget.
All the mistakes and insensibility.
They'll never fade, will they?

Knowing drowning myself will never
help yet doing it in hope of just the
slightest relief, its just dumb isnt it.

And I guess moving on is all I can do.
Even if I can't, deceiving myself that I
have done so is the least I can do.

Tsk, so much for hating weaklings.
So much for despising those that cannot
pick themselves up.

I'm but one.
All back to one.

2009-03-29T22:18:00.001-07:00

I can tell a million lies; It would count as no surprise.

2009-03-25T22:26:00.000-07:00

A thousand million of excuses I thought of.
All just for a little break I thought I deserve.

After all, my eye is still swollen like a goldfish.
>.<

--

But then again,
Since I got this far, Why not till the end?

Guess I'll see it all through.
Its just hardship, nothing more than that.

:D

2009-03-22T00:48:00.000-07:00

Happy 18th Tuna Chia! :D

Hope you had fun last night!
And I think you and Charmaine can really
start a Funky' Cooked Food stall or smth.
: )

Man, I think you're the longest friend I've known
that is still in contact and hanging out together
like retardeds ya'know.

Thanks for all the memories made in this 11 years,
'am glad I met such a tuna like you in my life.

Afterall, A tuna that can tell racist jokes is hard to
come by. Heh.

And for all the times you were there, Thank you. :D

Oh! You're right on one thing! There's still 2 more
years before hitting the big 20th.

Or rather, Only 2 more years.

The year we all have to start acting mature and all,
although I doubt we all will >.<>

Anyhow let's have some more fun before that comes
aye! :D

All the bestxzxzxz and I hope Tak Kin will sing Sugar
Rush to you tonight or smth. nah, just jokin'. :D

Swim on and enjoy your day aye!

2009-03-20T21:24:00.001-07:00

A lil deranged here & there;

2009-03-16T07:26:00.000-07:00

I'll leave it all here;

--
--

All the souls that would die just to feel alive.

2009-03-06T23:19:00.000-08:00

A million kind of thoughts I can't seem to be able to
put across in words.

And this thunderstorm out there that reminds me of
the one one year plus back;
Its kind of similar to the one in the inside.

So caught up that I take a lot of things for granted.

Decided to stay in for today;
Been some time since I took a rest.

But hey, should be heading out to meet an idiot later : )
Priority yo.

Friends & Family.

--
--

Could someone tell me what to say,
To just make you stay.

2009-03-04T20:47:00.000-08:00

Never got sick listening to this one. :)

When Love And Hate Collides - Def Leppard

You could have a change of heart
If you would only change your mind
Instead of slamming down the phone, girl
For the hundredth time

I got your number on my wall
But I ain't gonna make that call
When divided we stand, baby
United, we fall

Got the time, got a chance, gonna make it
Got my hands on your heart, gonna take it
All I know, I can't fight this way

You could have a change of heart
If you would only change your mind
Cause I'm crazy 'bout you, baby
Time after time

Without you, one night alone
Is like a year without you, baby
Do you have a heart of stone

Without you
Can't stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide

I don't wanna fight no more
I don't know what we're fighting for
When we treat each other, baby
Like an act of war

I could tell a million lies
And it would come as no surprise
When the truth is like a stranger
Hits you right between the eyes

There's a time and a place and a reason
And I know I got a love to believe in
All I know, got to win this time

Without you, one night alone
Is like a year without you, baby
Do you have a heart of stone

Without you
Can't stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide

You could have a change of heart
If you would only change your mind
Cause I'm crazy bout you, baby
Crazy, crazy

Without you, one night alone
Is like a year without you, baby
Do you have a heart of stone

Without you, one night alone
Is like a year without you, baby
If you have a heart at all

Without you
Can't stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide

2009-03-03T19:15:00.000-08:00

Feel like stabbing myself a million times over.
But i guess it wouldn't be of much help, either.

Screwed.
Perfectly screwed.

--

I'll be just fine;
pretending I'm not.

2009-03-01T14:54:00.000-08:00

Its 6.56 am and I thought I 've got an hour to
finish up the whole month of learning journal.

But no, that was what I thought.

I'm suppose to get my arse outta the house by 7.30.
GG owning no rm beyond godlike totally alike dog like.

Shit.

--

The sky is brightening up as every second pass;
Somehow, just somehow, I feel heavy.

Just a little, I guess.

--
--

Time ain't turning back for me;
Shall try reversing the rotation of earth.

2009-02-19T22:29:00.000-08:00

Every roommate kept awake
By every sigh, and scream we make.

--
--

I can't think right,
Not these few days at the least.

Damn it all.

2009-02-18T06:17:00.000-08:00

I can laugh it off anytime of the day,
But undeniably, I'm still scared.

Fuck.
Damn it, damn it all.

2009-02-12T19:39:00.000-08:00

Skipped morning lesson today, and how I was
still telling Aida I wouldn't be doing it
again just yesterday.

Great.

It wasn't that I was lazy.
I wouldn't have tried something pretty so stupid
that risk screwing 2 weeks of my hard labour
solely because of laziness.

Somehow, it just felt like even if I did went to
school, it'll prolly equal as much as not going.

I needed the few hours anyway.
Just that few hours, to ensure myself I'll be still
me when I reach school later on.

--
--

Days has been like madness, endless doing of work,
assignments and the finding of time to finish that
damn piece of perspective that has been haunting me.

So much so, I've that pathetic amount time for myself.
Haven been meeting up the rest a lot, guess I'll do it
soon, if not I'll really become an anti social freak.

Speaking of which, I hope that moron with gastric flu
is fine. Haven been able to find the time to deliver
his book to his place >.<

.

Somehow, my mind is in a blank.
My heart is especially quiet,
And I'm feeling rather empty.

Well, just gotta get over it.
Like I did a thousand times.

.

Smeared with frustration and distracted by fads,
Just reminded me of how powerless we were back then,
Yet even now I'm pretty much unchanged.

2009-01-26T07:41:00.000-08:00

I think I need a resolution.
And that will be without a doubt to become
a better guy.

I'll try that out, really.

--
--

Just a lil something I wanna' say to you peeps.

Ya'know,

Out of 10 things I say,
usually 11 things are what I don't mean.

Those who know me well knows that.

Its pretty difficult if you wanna' hear Bh
talk in a serious tone, seriously.
Cos' even I find talkin' in a serious manner
a pain in the ass.

But I do say things I feel about at times.
To those I trust that is.

It takes years to understand a weirdo like me.
So please don't judge me.

Random yeah?
Yup.

--
--

ANYWAY ANYWAY ANYYYWAAYYYYYYYY!

Its the lunar new year yo!
Goodies, Clothing, Money, Aging and Memories.

Didn't get to wish all the morons a Happy new year
so I guess I'll do it here.

' Happy new lunar year to you morons eh!

And yeah, bro, your book's safe in my house.
Ya' know I won't touch a book LOL.

I'll probably deliver it to your house and earn
myself a ang pao! CUNNING SEH! :DDDDDD

--
--

AND YESYESYESYESYES BEFORE I FORGET.
Dedicate this to a classmatey of mine : )

A very Happy Birthday to Pei Wen yeah!
Guess she won't be see-ing this, but hmmmmmm.

Just wanna say a big thank you to her for just
being around in the class as a classmate alt
we don't talk much.

And yeah, the " party thingy " the other day
was definitely enjoyable :D

and oh, happy lunar new year too :DD

--
--

I need a little more luck than a little bit.
Cos' every time I get stuck the words won't fit.

And every time that I try I get tongue tied,
I need a little good love to get me by.

Happy lunar new year all! : )

2009-01-14T14:49:00.001-08:00

Screwin' up the best thing ever;

Is something you'll regret forever.

2009-01-10T22:54:00.000-08:00

All over again for you.

2008-12-31T01:38:00.000-08:00

And through it all,
I'm still here.

Barely alive, but still breathing.

--
--

When darkness turn to light,
It ends tonight.

2008-12-19T11:45:00.000-08:00

Cos' friendship and love don't come overnight.
And the longest it last for is but a life time.
So cherish it yo, cherish it.

Ah, sec 2's " cherish ", knn.

I remember getting owned by everyone with the
word the whole damn year back then.

Inside joke that is : )

Man, those were the days ain't?

Where school was just but another hang out
for retards >.<

A place whereby we attend so we can get
allowance for our free activities after sch.

Not to mention the merry making while at it
luh opps.

--
--

Oh, its 4 am.
Guess there ain't gonna be school tmr then.
Cos' I say so :D

Fuck it people, Goodnight!

2008-12-17T10:27:00.001-08:00

Laugh it off yo laugh it off.

Cos' she'll never be here,
And things will never be the same.

Ever again.

--
--

HAH!

There goes!
Rid of negativity alreaaaaady! :D

Just by talking to idiots actually.

Right, and Goodnight fucka'!

2008-12-13T01:44:00.000-08:00

I tell you,
My life have been one hell of a drama rama siol.
Recently, that is.

Forget that I said that, Cos' Ive decided to be a
fish monger and sell fish and be selfish and keep
the joke to myself :DDDDD

Anyway,

Its like everything have taken changes, some rather
big whereas others are minor, but hey, changes are
pretty nice in another perspective : )

Speaking of perspective, I failed P1 T.T
Hoooooboy, but its worth failing I tell ya.

Don't say I'm stupid,
cos' you aint too smart either :)

Ya' know,
Ever felt so looked down upon by the stares of others?
Its really pretty interesting.

Cos' when I look back at those people from head to toe,
I really cannot find the source of what give them so
much confidence that they think they're just better.

Better than the whole wide world yo.

Okayyyyyyyyy, Anyway, WhatwasIjustabouttosay.

Yeah, I think I'll end off with a lil dedication
to the moronic friends out there.

--
--

So, after so many years I ve realise one thing.

Friends, my dear friends, ARE ACTUALLY ALL STUPID
PEOPLE GOD DAMN IT WTFSTEAMBOATKNNGGBYEBYE.

I think that is what makes them special,
and for that I thank them. For everything.

I can't say each time I'm in shit they're all
there for me, cos' practically I'm in shit daily.

However they assure me at times that they'll all
be there and all, yeah. And when things really
happens, I would see them right beside me.

Maybe this would not be seen for each and one of
them, but I do hope the somebody will.

--
--

Bro, perhaps it is really time you need to have a
talk with us?

We'll definitely be there, at anytime you need it.
So please, talk to us of what you're facing out
there.

There isn't anything we can't solve, except if you
ve really built that wall that keep us away from you.

Call us, yeah?

2008-12-02T10:50:00.000-08:00

Just when I was wondering why everybody seems to
be zombie-like and if the world is really as
pressurizing as it appears to be,

I realised if I don't go to bed now, as in right
now, I'll prolly end up exactly the same as them

>.<

And oh anyway,

Life's bad, as in really really bad.
I'm screwed, as in really really screwed.
Really lah fuckheads!

Kay I'm goin' to bed, as in really really going to bed.

Fuck lah, I think I'm fuckin' irritating,
as in really really fuckin' irritating.

Bye bye!
as in really really bye bye lah. :D

2008-11-30T16:41:00.000-08:00

1.5 hr left to finish rendering 3 perspectives.

Omfg Tay, I swear you were sucha genius to have
slept away the whole damn night.

Save my ass, someone.

2008-11-25T06:38:00.000-08:00

Cos' I ain't you, and you ain't me.

So don't go assuming who I am,
But actually, I already know what you're like.

Aren't cha being a little too quick to judge?

I mean the least we've got is but a pretty long
time, so why, why is that I'm being rejected like
I'm fire and you're the water so soon.

If I'm of that insignificance to y'all, then yes,
from this day, y'all of insignificance to me.

Cos' I can't find any reasons to conform, to change,
to torture myself and eventually make myself feel like
a loser each time I fail to meet all of the senseless
expectations that seem nothing more than stupidity pure
to me.

One last try and one last push,
Is but all that I can do now.

And I often wonder, why the fuck do I even give a damn.

--
--

Anyway anyway and anyway,

Days has been quite drama-rama at times but also
mundane at the other times.

If ya know me, ya know what I'm talking bout'.
And if ya know me, ya know I'm lazy to rant on.

-.-

Bye-Bye fuckers!

2008-11-19T15:58:00.000-08:00

There is this one question in my mind since 3
years back and has been going on a repetition
since then.

I can't find the answer, prolly never will be
able to find it. Guess it might be a blessing?
Or perhaps just the opposite.

As the light spill over the sky once again,
I wonder when is my sky going to be the same
too.

Somehow, I can't seem to be able to get worked
up on anything lately.

As in, really get angry or excited over something
kind of thing?

Maybe if somebody just walk up to me and say

" hey, your really really really faraway relative in
outer space has passed on and named you as the inheritor
to his millions of billions kind of cash "

Then yeah, maybe I'll get worked up, maybe.
But most definitely I'll feel dumb, really.

Anyway,

Just wanted to let my friends know the same
old thing that I've been saying a thousand
times over,

I'm here.
When everything goes against y'all, I can
be there, even if its just listening? hah!

--
--

Maybe this is just but a prank Mr God is playing
on me right on the start.

But nonetheless, it has been one hell of a
ride.. one hell of a ride indeed.

Guess its time to move on or something, but to be
honest, I'm not even sure if I can make it through.
Sounds like a loser I know, but what do you know?

Kay, I'm done ranting, but then again, I'm not.
There is ten million and one thing I can keep
going about, but gah, guess I better shut up.

Project 1, here I come T.T

2008-11-17T13:11:00.000-08:00

It felt like countless spears ran through my heart,
But its okay, as long as you're living it happy : )

I'm a fool when it comes to you,
and only for you.

Its all too late, I guess.

It ain't the first time I'm going through such
emotions, should have gotten used to it by now
anyway.

But I guess I'm such a loser that I really can't.

Too late, really too late.

--
--

Then again, its only 5.21 am, early ain't -.-
And fuck, my P1 isn't exactly done up.

Wanted to just let it go, fail it since I ain't
got no mood to even look at it.

But on second thoughts, I guess I just whack
something up.

Don't ask me why cos' I don't know why.

My life is deranged.
I'm a person without drive, ambition and dream.
I ooze with stupidity and I am a loser : )
#^*&$^#&^#&*

So fuck it people,
Goodnight!

2008-10-29T06:50:00.000-07:00

I really don't know what to say no more.

What you said made me felt rather disappointed, I guess.
Somehow.

But hey, we got your back, now and always.

--
--

I hate honeyed words.
and that guy HONG GAN guy, seriously leh seriously.

I haven't even known him,
and I'm already sick of him. _|_

But then again, just thinking of how pathetic that
suckaaaaaa is can really be quite funny, really!

Nabeh! I'm a loser, I admit :D

But if I'm as loser as him I'll really kill myself
10 times over, come back to life and kill myself
for the 11th time.

argh.
--
--

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

This is the kind of time you feel like saying

" aaaahhhhh fuck lah knnb ccb, qu ta ma de chou ji dan. "

--
--

BUT HEYYYYYYYYYYY! on a lighter note,

The world isnt that badddddddddddd.
Its roundddddddddddddddddddddddddd.

bye.

_|_

2008-10-21T12:45:00.000-07:00

If there is a time whereby I'm totally screwed
inside-out and up-side down,

It'll be this moment
in time.

Right now.

2008-10-17T21:00:00.000-07:00

在心里总有一种说不住的不安，

一种说不出的恐惧。

其他的事，你一句话，我挺你挺到低。

就这一次，真的真的三思而后行。

Its not just being random.

Its not shit talking after a night of tonning
and not sleeping yet, still.

Its really this sick shitty bad sort of
premonition I'm getting, its lingering..

fuck it.
fuck it all.
especially the &@#^&@#^@#@*(#&
fuck them fuck them and fuck them nbccb.

bye.

2008-10-17T00:52:00.001-07:00

I'm screwed big big big big time time, this time.

Save me please, somebody come save me PLEASE!
I'll die, I swear! I swear I'll fucking die!
I swear I swear I swear and I'll curse!

Karma, I love you.
I wish I can fuck you 10 times over and kill you.
fuck this fuck that knnbccb _|_

I finally feel like I'm a legend.
Pokemon final version: Karma.

Legendary bird : Tay Bing Hui. ( The sway jiao )
Requires no master ball to catch.

--

The first time I ever saw you so down. Seriously.
I don't know, I sort of really didn't know what to
say just now, but theres one thing I said and I mean
it.

We'll be there for you. : )

--

World, I'm a goner.
Goodbye.

2008-10-15T06:04:00.001-07:00

Jokes are everywhere, I swear.

LMFAO ROFL.

2008-10-01T12:34:00.000-07:00

hooooooooooooooooooo.
fuck the world baby!
cos' I'm so gonna miss out the whole tmr again.

Its fucking 4 am and damn, I'm wide awake.
But its all okaaaaay, since its the HOLIDAYS! :D

GPA 2.5.
Happy with it, but not really happy over it.
Studies aint exactly in my priority list anyway.

But hey,
I slogged for that shitty two numerical no. kay!
With the decimal in between, of course :D

Theres more to life than just designs, colours
materials, concepts and ideas and all yes? :D

And oh,
Majority of classmates fared better than me, duh. -.-
Its not like I'm very talented in this shit yo!

Felt damn happy and inspired when I heard of Justin's
grade yo! He's like proving nothing aint impossible
with steel will and determination, really.

Hm, anyway, its allllll okay Desmond!
If you happen to see this, remember to cheer up aight!

You've got what it takes, I assure you this much.
Don't let this get you down yo, obstacles and setbacks
are inevitable siollll!
They are what will prove your good grades of its worth
in the future! :D ( if this makes sense >.< )

--------
--------

AND AND HAPPY 17th to
Lim Fang Yuan, Moron of the century!
I swear he really is. :D

Hey bro,
please go and fuck a tree and repent on the sins
you've committed all these years!

You've made fun of almost every God, I swear!
Not to mention, you're one hell of a racist.
and and and.. .. .. doctor checkup thing :DDD

kay, serious.
Words of thanks cannot really exactly put what I want
to tell you across, but hey, really thanks a bunch yo!

For always being a moron that is, heh.

--------
--------

lastlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy,

shall dedicate this to a best friend that I don't think
he'll be reading this thingggggggggggggggggggggggggggggy
anyime soon >.<

Bro,

Sometimes I really don't know whats in your mind, perhaps
we both know it too well our personality clashes totally
mannn and choose not to talk over things.

Maybe its that that we're friends yo!
Whoever said friend is a term for people of the
same personality and character! fuck him big time!

But hey,
just like you to know we're all a little worried
and concern over you yes?

I choose not to bother you by questioning and all,
cos' I trust you'll do the right things yes?

We've got your back, dude.
You got issues out there, bring it out and we'll talk
over it together okay?
Doesn't matter if we're able to be of help, we'll try
our bestttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!

We're friends dudeeeeeeee!

Don't even entertain the thought of doing things all
by yourself, same goes for facing troubles.

I'll kick your ass, murder you dead then drag you back
from hell and kill you all over again.

Don't go mia-ing for long period of time too lehhh!!
just so you know, one call from you and we can
always spend some time crapping over the table
of pool yo!

Anytime, for you. : )

2008-09-28T22:40:00.001-07:00

Just a stone in the river of time.
But its all okay.

2008-09-21T04:41:00.000-07:00

也许这一路走来都是一个错误